And as long as you nod and stay silent with your hand on your chin in an Evaluation position, there's no pressure on you to speak and you won't come across like an interrogator. Usually, by the time you have counted to four, the listener will begin speaking again and give you more information. When he finishes speaking continue to nod your head another five times at the rate of about one nod per second. Head nodding encourages co-operation and agreement.Īfter you've asked a question and the listener gives his answer nod your head during his answer. By finishing each sentence with a verbal affirmation such as, 'Isn't it?', 'Wouldn't you?', 'Isn't that true?' or 'Fair enough?', and with the speaker and listener both nodding their heads, the listener experiences positive feelings which create a greater likelihood of getting them to agree with you. Head nodding is an excellent tool for creating rapport, getting agreement and cooperation. If someone nods their head at you, you will usually nod too - even if you don't necessarily agree with what they are saying. In other words, positive feelings cause the head to nod - and the reverse is also true: nodding the head causes positive feelings. Conversely, if you simply start nodding your head intentionally, you will begin to experience positive feelings. Body language is an unconscious outward reflection of inner feelings so, if you feel positive or affirmative, your head will begin to nod as you speak. There are two powerful uses of the Head Nod. Fast nodding tells the speaker you've heard enough or that you want them to finish or give you a turn to speak. Slow nodding communicates that the listener is interested in what the speaker is saying so give slow, deliberate clusters of three head nods when the other person is making a point. The speed of the nod signals the patience - or lack of patience - of the listener. Research shows that people will talk three to four times more than usual when the listener nods their head using groups of three nods at regular intervals.
Most people have never considered the power of head nodding as a persuasion tool. In Arab countries they use a single, upward head movement, which means 'no' while Bulgarians use the common 'no gesture to mean 'yes' Head nodding has its origins in bowing to appear subordinate. As we've already said, in Japan, head nodding doesn't necessarily mean 'Yes, I agree' - it usually means 'Yes I hear you.'
This is confusing for Westerners and Europeans, who use this gesture to communicate 'Maybe yes - maybe no'. In India, the head is rocked from side to side, called the Head Wobble, to signal 'Yes'. Research conducted with people who were born deaf, dumb and blind shows that they also use this gesture to signify 'Yes', so it appears to be an inborn gesture of submission. Bowing is a submissive gesture so the Head Nod shows we are going along with the other person's point of view. It's a stunted form of bowing - the person symbolically goes to bow but stops short, resulting in a nod. In most cultures the Head Nod is used to signify 'Yes' or agreement. This chapter covers some of the most common head gestures and body language clusters you are likely to see in your day-to-day dealings with others. Most people use the Shoulder Tap to break a clinch - sincere huggers hold on tight.
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